Monday, July 11, 2016

Before You Meet Prince Charming Review

http://tomorrowsforefathers.pinnaclecart.com/biblical-teaching/before-you-meet-prince-charming/A young lady who is pure will shine with a radiant brightness in this world of darkness. How can a young lady stay physically and emotionally pure as she waits for God s best in marriage? This guide to radiant purity combines the thoughts and events in the life of a young princess with solid, clear teaching of Biblical convictions that young ladies today need to grasp. Through a captivating fairy tale, modern day examples, practical instruction and abundant humor, Sarah Mally challenges young ladies to turn to the Lord for fulfillment, to guard their hearts and minds, to identify and avoid the world s thinking and to shine brightly in this generation. This book offers Biblical answers to everyday questions and deep life struggles. It deals with many practical topics such as being wise in internet usage, dealing with crush, and building strong relationships with parents. Sarah Mally is a bright light in our day.

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I've wanted to read this book for years, but I had never been very active about tracking down a copy. When I saw that they sold it at the Creation Museum, I naturally picked up a copy, but I was thinking "I'm twenty, I've pretty much defined my ideas on relationships. I doubt I really need this." But as I flipped through, I went, "Yep, I still need this." Luckily I remembered I still had a good bit left on the Visa gift card I got from my grandma for Christmas, or I never would have bought it. Because while it's true that I already knew a lot that was in the book, I did need it and I still managed to get a lot out of it.

Now, I've come across things in the Bright Lights handouts that indicate the Mallys seem to lean a bit towards legalism, but I didn't come across much if anything in this book that seemed overly legalistic. At least, nothing I hadn't already read in Bright Lights materials. (Honestly, the thing I most disagreed with was the implication in the bonus material that online friendships are fake. Because while you absolutely have to be super careful, it is possible to make good friends online. It's like a modern version of a pen pal.)

Essentially, what the book is about is staying truly pure and trusting God in relationships. It seems like basic stuff, but unfortunately, it's not really very common. I don't want to rehash the entire book, you need to read it for yourself, but I want to touch on the chapters that stood out to me the most.

Guard Your Heart

I honestly tend to have the opposite problem from what this chapter is really written to help you with. I tend more to hide from guys than to be overly familiar with them. But whether you're boy crazy or anti boy, this chapter helps. It talks about how to have friendships with guys without becoming emotionally attached in a romantic way. Things like keeping the friendship casual and focusing on the other person, not yourself. It's not bad to be friends with guys, but you absolutely need to protect your heart and keep it for the right one.

Could He Be The One?

Despite being a girl who was never interested in guys and never really developed any crushes, I do want to get married someday, and I want to know...How do you know if he's the one? Unfortunately, there's no hard and fast rule, and every situation is different. What this chapter does do is give you an idea of essential qualifications to look for in a spouse. Things like the essentials of marrying a strong Christian, and things like considering if your life missions are the same. But a bigger thing is: Are YOU ready for marriage? And if not, what things do you need to work on to get there? Because you can't expect a guy to be ready to be your husband if you aren't making yourself ready to be a wife.

When God Says Wait

This really stuck out to me because, well, I'm not in a relationship, don't see the possibility of one anytime soon, and I know I'm not really ready for one anyway. God is saying wait. Waiting is important. There are so many things we miss if we refuse to wait on God. God's timing is rarely the same as ours, but His is infinitely better. Still, waiting doesn't mean sitting around just...waiting. It means serving. There are many opportunities for ministry we have while we're single that we won't have once we're married. The morning after I read this chapter, I talked to my mom about the subject, and then immediately after when I got in the car to go to work, "While I'm Waiting" was playing on the radio. I guess it's a message I needed to hear!

Have a Life Purpose Bigger Than Marriage

Despite the fact that I don't even want to get married for at least a few more years, I still tend to think of my single years as filler. The years in between graduation and marriage. I think that's why this chapter stood out to me. It tells me not to hold back because, well, it's probably something I'll have to give up once I get married and start having kids because I won't have the time anymore. Use your single years wisely. I don't want to be thirty and unmarried, looking back and saying, "I should have tried harder at the things I was doing. I gave up opportunities I should have taken advantage of because I was afraid it would keep me from getting married or something." Because my life purpose, your life purpose, should be far bigger than marriage. It's about serving God in everything, surrendering to Him, and working for His kingdom, regardless of whether it's something you'll have to give up or put on hold should you get married.

Reserved For One

This chapter was really exciting to me. For a lot of girls, what they care about is how far they can go while technically remaining pure. But what it should be about is how much we can save for our future spouse. And that is immensely exciting to me. It's really amazing to think of saving as many firsts as I can for my future husband, more than just my first kiss. Sarah provides a list to get you thinking, things like first expression of interest, first words of affection or love, first special song, place, event or memory...How much more special will it be if we have all these firsts of a romantic relationship with the right one? I don't want to have any special romantic moment with some other girl's husband. As I told a friend the day after reading this chapter, I want to be able to tell my husband someday that "there was only ever you." And that thought excites me.

This book taught me a lot, as well as better defining and reinforcing beliefs I already held. Because while I don't agree with the Mallys on everything (I do think completely getting rid of your TV is a bit extreme), they teach a lot that is of value. Before You Meet Prince Charming is well written, informative, and biblically based, containing many scripture quotes and references. This book is well worth the read for any single girl or woman.

7 comments:

  1. I'm with you on the avoiding guys problem. I used to get extremely nervous if a guy my age or older talked to me, I think I was overrating the attention. Now I'm able to talk to them sensibly, though I still don't really have any friendships with guys. But then I don't really have many close, in-person friendships with girls either.

    Also on the point of having a life purpose other than marriage, that's something I've really been focusing lately. Even in marriage we need a life purpose. Raising Godly children and helping our husband is important, but we need a higher purpose. Being married is not the goal, serving God is.
    Besides, any young man you would want to marry would be more attracted to a girl who is doing something useful to serve the Lord. A man with a vision, or passion, is probably looking for a woman who already shares that.

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    1. I totally get it. I'm still generally like, "Please don't talk to me. You're a guy. I don't want any sort of attention from you." There are only a select few guys I count among my friends now. And even of those, one is younger than me, one is married, and one is practically my cousin, and that's almost all of them. With guys...I guess we just need to treat them like brothers in Christ, not avoid them, but still be careful not to try to make them besties (which probably isn't too hard for us).

      Absolutely. Which is why having a common life mission is important. My family's mission is politics, and it's something we've always done as a family. My sister was three and already getting dragged to door to door and debates and campaign meetings. That's just what we did. Marriage is about so much more than just keeping house and taking care of the kids. It's about serving alongside your husband in your family's mission and teaching your kids to do the same.
      Exactly. Though the Christian young men who care about politics and are willing to be involved to the extent that my family is are hard to find. :P

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    2. My families thing is Creation evangelism and other worldview things, and really anything that relates to the truth of the Bible. I grew up here Answers in Genesis and later Creation Ministries International speakers all the time. I know the arguments, and I've sold the resourses.

      We also are strong promoters of home education and the centrality of the family, which pushes us into politics a bit. So we're a bit broader in our mission than your family.
      I couldn't marry a man who didn't see the importance of those things, but 'passionate about Creation science' isn't on my list. Not that I have much of a physical list anyway.

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    3. Your family's mission may not be your personal one if that's not an essential for you, and that's okay. And some couples figure out their life mission together...my parents did. But my point is, if you KNOW God is calling you to a specific ministry or you know He's NOT calling you to another one, it's important not to marry someone whose life mission is in conflict with that.

      In my case, I couldn't marry someone who was called to foreign missions. Not because I'm against them, on the contrary, I think they're awesome, but because I've never felt called in that direction and God hasn't given me the skills necessary anyway (my foreign language skills are almost nonexistent...I started German over three times and still only speak toddler German). God has given me a passion for fighting to save America, and since I KNOW that's an extremely important mission to me, I know I couldn't marry someone who didn't understand it and wasn't willing to be a part of it.

      It is a good idea to make a list...not a list of physical characteristics or superficial interests...but a list of core beliefs that you can't violate. My list is short and kept to the bare essentials, but it is still limiting. It's good to know that God has it all under control!

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    4. Yes, core beliefs are the most important things.

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  2. This cover always gives me flashbacks to when I was twelve. XD I can't believe you haven't read it yet! Have you read the other purity movement classics like So Much More and I Kissed Dating Goodbye? My personal favorite is anything by Eric and Leslie Ludy. I've read When Dreams Come True three times and it's so beautiful how God orchestrated their love story even though they both made so many mistakes.

    Anyway, I agree with a lot of what Sarah Mally says in this book (and most of what you said in your post). I did a study on it with my old church wayyyyy back before I was interested in guys, and my mom and sisters and I even did a road trip up to Pennsylvania or something to go to one of Sarah's conferences. However, some of it does tend to lean towards legalism, like you said, and I've learned to caution people who read this to do it with a grain of salt - Sarah's in her thirties and still not married.

    Also, I see my mention. : P

    -Ashley

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    1. Well, no one ever gave me a copy and it's not exactly something you find at the library. :P I haven't, though we have a copy of I Kissed Dating Goodbye from Goodwill that I've been intending to read for years. I haven't read anything by Eric and Leslie Ludy yet, but I won a copy of When God Writes Your Life Story a few months ago in a blog giveaway and it's on my list to read after I finish Miracles by C.S. Lewis. I'm definitely looking forward to it.

      (Most? I can probably pick out what you disagree with. XD) I actually found more legalism in the Bright Lights handouts than I did in this book. Thankfully, our leader was very not legalistic, so the actual lessons we did didn't fall into that trap. Well, I wouldn't say take it with a grain of salt just because Sarah's not married - God obviously has more for her to do as a single woman, I'm sure it's not because of her philosophy on purity. However, we should take EVERYTHING we read with a grain of salt and filter it through the Bible. We should never follow any one person's teaching unquestioningly...except Jesus Christ's, that is. :)

      Yeah...you got a mention.

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