I Come in Simplicity

I come in simplicity
Longing for purity
To worship You
In spirit and truth
Only You

Lord strip it all away
'Til only You remain
I'm coming back
To my first love
Only You

 You're the reason I sing
The reason I sing
Yes my heart will sing
How I love You
And forever I'll sing
Forever I'll sing
Yes my heart will sing
How I love You

We sang this song in church Sunday. In worship team practice, I played it thinking about the notes. Again, when we sang during the service, I paid little attention to the lyrics. But during prayer time, several people mentioned this song, and it really finally meant something to me.

I get so distracted by life. I get so distracted by what book I'm reading or writing, what plans I have for the week, what worries I have. But that doesn't matter. God is what matters. Lord, strip it all away 'til only You remain. I need to get back to my first love, only You. We all wander. It's like in "Come Thou Fount:" "Prone to wander, Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love."

It's not that I don't read the Bible. I do, every day. It's not that I don't pray. I do, all the time. But I still get distracted. I still don't live like I should. I'm doing a really bad job articulating the thoughts that were so clear in my heart during prayer time at church. It's that, well, I do these outward things. My heart is sometimes in it, sometimes not. And even when it is, it isn't in it enough.

It's a heart thing. Christians as a whole tend to do the outward visible things, but be lacking when it comes to the heart. Which is evidenced by something else brought up at church: some churches polled unbelievers to see what would get them in the door (lots of flashy technology and no convicting sermons) and then did it. It's a disturbing trend. The Church is falling away from her first love.

I come with my broken song
To You the Perfect One
To worship You
In spirit and truth
Only You

Give me a childlike heart
Lead me to where You are
Cause I'm coming back
To my first love
Only You

You're the reason I sing
The reason I sing
Yes my heart will sing
How I love You
And forever I'll sing
Forever I'll sing
Yes my heart will sing
How I love You

And I wanted to share something else brought up in the communion message, the sermon, and testimonies afterward, something which I've been learning personally as well, and it appears others have too, as even a friend posted on a similar subject recently: Faith and trust.

It's so easy to say "I trust that God has everything under control." But do we really? We worry. At least, I know I do. Even if we do truly believe that God has a plan and He knows what He's doing, we still want to know how and why. God will work this out, but how? God has a reason for this. Why?

Let me share a little of my personal struggle with trust. I moved about two months ago. I'd felt we needed to move for awhile, so, while I didn't want the change, I knew it needed to happen. But that didn't stop the uncertainty. We still don't really know why we moved. There has to be a reason God wants us here instead of our old home, but what is that reason? We're working hard to finish our basement. Yes, we need some of that space for living, but there's more than we had before, with a better setup, so what are we supposed to use it for? What does God want us to do now? Will I be able to get a lot of music students? What if I can't? What do I do then? What's supposed to happen with my books? How do I use that gift of writing properly for God? How do I get more sewing jobs? But how do I do that while waiting for my sewing room to be finished? Am I even supposed to get more sewing jobs? Will I find a family to babysit for? Is it ever going to be actually possible for me (and some friends) to make our favorite daydream of making a movie into a reality? Is that something I actually should pursue, or just relegate to daydreaming? And when will I get married? I know I'm not ready now, and I'm not ready to be ready for that for at least a few more years, but when will it be? Will it ever be? I want to know. I want to be able to have my whole life planned out.

God knows. He knows the answer to every single one of these questions. I'm always gonna have 'em. And if not these specifically, then others. But I don't need to worry about them. God gives us tasks for now. He has a plan for how it all works together, and it will work together, because He is orchestrating it. I just have to have faith and do the task He sets before me for now. Right now, that's finishing our basement. Why? God will show us when it's time. I'm also preparing The Crossways for publication. That's my task now. God knows what will come next, and as much as I want to know what and how and why, that's God's job, not mine.

Part of the communion message focused on having a childlike faith. Give me a childlike heart. As children, we trust our parents to take care of us. We have faith that everything will turn out alright. But as things go wrong, as people let us down, we learn not to trust. And that affects our trusting God. Because even though God is the only One we can always trust, we've already learned not to. We need to have that childlike faith again. That trust that God is in control over everything. Oh, it's hard. It's more than hard. But that doesn't mean don't do it. That doesn't mean give up. Trust God in everything.

Come to God in simplicity, longing for purity, bring our broken song, receive a childlike heart. I'm coming back to my first love, only You.