This is me realizing on Sunday afternoon that I forgot to write a blog post because NaNo.
Anyway, I started thinking while I was loading the dishwasher after lunch, and this is probably going to be rambly because I still have NaNo brain, but here goes.
I don't have everything figured out.
Primarily, I was thinking about this in regards to writing. I've been trying (with a half-functioning NaNo brain) to talk my sister through writing the second half of a book. We've talked through character arcs and story structure and reactive vs. proactive character actions, and it's been good. Actually helping me better process those things and try to identify them in my own writing. But I don't have all the answers. I can't tell her the perfect way to implement them in her book, or even a perfect way I've implemented them in mine (because I'm still learning too).
I'm also struggling still with Acktorek book 2. I know the general storyline and I have adequate worldbuilding for what I'm doing, but there's still so much I don't know. I'm struggling to figure out Emma's mental state and character arc. I'm struggling to figure out how Emma and Mitchell work as a team, what their particular strengths and weaknesses are and how they complement each other in this story. I'm having trouble figuring out how to seamlessly weave all the elements together into a cohesive whole.
But that's okay. I don't have to get it all right at this very moment. I mean, book 1 went out to betas on its 6th draft, and I'm about to head into editing again based on feedback. And I have a lot of work to do, not because it's a bad book—so far my betas and cover model have really liked it—but because I haven't figured everything out yet.
Am I going to have it all perfect by the time it's published? Well, the question we should be asking is "Is any book ever perfect?" No, it won't be, because they never are. But it will be the best I can make it at this stage in my writing journey.
Is this draft of book 2 going to be perfect? Not by a long shot. That's what subsequent drafts are for, for digging deeper, finding and correcting plot holes, fleshing things out. And eventually it'll be the best I can make it.
But it's not just in writing that I don't know everything, that I'm still learning and figuring things out as I go. It's in everything. And you know what? That's okay. I can't wait until I know everything to do things, because then I'll be waiting forever. I can't feel so overwhelmed by my inadequacies that I don't try. And believe me, this weekend in particular, all the things I'm not sure how to handle in Acktorek 2 are tempting me to give up and work on something else that will be "easier." (Though they never really are.) But I won't. It takes work and determination and risk to move forward in life. And figuring things out as I go along.
And this is only sort of related, but mostly I just want to share it because it was inspiring to me in church this week. We can't flee from hard, scary, dangerous things. We can't hide in safety away from life. Because it's easy to prize that safety and security above God. And God doesn't want us to run away from the things that are hard, to flee from our enemies, whatever form they may take. God commands us to be strong and courageous, He encourages us and is with us in everything. God rules. He is in control of everything. And He rewards those who live in righteousness, those who seek Him and live according to His will.
So no, I don't have it all figured out. Yes, I often want to give up and run away from my problems, or the things that are hard, or the things where I just don't know what to do. But that's the wrong response. It's okay that I don't have all the answers and that there are scary risks in life because God does have all the answers and He is in control of all these things I feel like are out of control, or I don't understand, or think I can't actually do.
Anyway, I'm not sure how coherent all this is, but these are my Sunday afternoon thoughts this week. I know I don't ever repost sermons on here, but I'd strongly encourage you to listen to this one, because it was really good and especially relevant. God's got this.